i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize