I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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