lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
where am i from again
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
