the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Houston, we have a squirter
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
