I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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