I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
