: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
