Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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