Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
