I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Congratulations! We have a period
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
