You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
