Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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