Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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