We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
