That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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