I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
