just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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