Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Buhtt sex?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize