the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
