i just had sex bonerless
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
