for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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