He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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