nut hugger
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
