okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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