Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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