Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
At least life still wants to fuck me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
