3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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