You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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