You're my little dorito
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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