i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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