don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
