really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
