my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
