So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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