all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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