We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
