Will you blow on my dice?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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