I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
