I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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