First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
