Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
