Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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