Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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