bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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