im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
