I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
my liver is dry heaving
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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