and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
