He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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