I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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