Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize