i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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