Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
