I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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