im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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