Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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