i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
