I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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