Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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