He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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