Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
