The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
