Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
