i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
