Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Boobs are out for the taking
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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