That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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